Note to Self: 11/25/07

• Read Still Life
• Finish history hw
• Get macbook off mind
• Run through neighborhood
• Finish Calc packet
• Finish velocity worksheet
• Finish Ferris Bueller for the fiftieth time.
• Start Spanish project on El Greco
• Wash darks
• Wash lights
• Wash towels
• Finish cleaning closet
• Mark up Crucible
• Mark up Catcher in the Rye
• Draw birthday card
• Start shopping for Secret Santa
• Re-cover APUSH book

Fill

I feel so soulless these days. I feel like something has been vacuumed out of my chest cavity, and that something is holding on to it.

I need something to feel. Some direct contact with someone. A slap. A kiss. A collision. I need some exchange of emotion with another person. Some inner revolution of youth, truth, and beauty.

Perhaps I shall stare in the sun. For even if I go blind, I will have had seconds-minutes, even- of pure ecstasy. I would have stared fate in the eye, and seen the world as it is. I could finally understand the environment around me; living in a state of tranquility and nirvana.

Two Weeks

I failed my driving test. Fuck this. Two fucking weeks.



What a load of bull.

Fight or Flight

I never realized how bipolar I get when I am anxious. One moment I am this chill guy and the next moment I am freaking out. Tomorrow I go for my license test. I need to do well. I need independence. To sum it up, I need a freaking car.

Gah, the pressure is intense. I am scared.

Momentum

It's all going downhill and we're on a one way ticket.


Change is bad.