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So much is going on in my head now.

I realized it will soon be time for org tryouts and I am seriously scared about it. I really want to make PC but I have high doubts in a way. Oh well.

Sometimes I feel like I am an animal and someone puts a collar on me and then puts in the collar a twig with a string attached with some food on it. It feels that no matter how hard I work, I will never seem to reach that "A", or that promotion, or that acceptance to PC, or whatever it may be. I seriously try harder than most of the kids in my Chem class yet I get C's and B's on tests. Sometimes I wish grades were based on effort. Better yet, I wish grades didn't exist. Then maybe a student would actually want to learn a damn thing in there life. But putting this pressure on a student is ridiculous. It doesn't help for the future at all, and even if; it doesn't matter about what you know just who know. Think about anyone who is famous. They had connections not good grades. Ugh. I am going to start my Julius Caesar paragraph that even though I will probably work 3 hours on I will only get at most a B-.